A look into the process of applying for a job and how to make it more enjoyable
Finding a job can be a long and laborious process. The first step on this road is to write a CV. This CV has to be snappy and exciting and it has to tell the world how great you are; without sounding too cocky. For the uninitiated it is a difficult task. In fact it can end up taking up an enormous amount of time and effort and worst of all if you’re not confident in your writing ability it can cost a lot of money to get it done professionally. To make it fun add in a fake job experience section that says you have been a stripper and see if you get caught out for it (or promoted!)
The next step in the job hunt process is getting acquainted with the jobs that are on offer. You have to trawl the local newspapers, the internet and ask everyone you know if they have heard about any jobs that are on offer. It is a painfully long experience and can also be extremely demoralising. You soon realise that there are no vacancies for dolphin trainers in Putney. But do not despair. To make it a bit more exciting, get drunk and ring the five strangest job listings and apply to two - you never know it might be for you!
The next step that is becoming increasingly important is to register with as many agencies as possible. These agencies make their money by finding you a job. Such is the power of agencies that employers are becoming forced to advertise through them. As a result they have an enormous variety of jobs registered with them. Sadly these jobs are rarely released to the public and you therefore have to register before you can send your CV to the company that have posted the job.
This can be particularly frustrating as recruitment companies have
the choice of whether or not to forward your CV to different companies. If you do not have sufficient qualifications or experience then it can be very frustrating. You are capable of doing the job but do not get the chance to attend an interview. To make it fun post yourself on a free site that removes the need for a recruitment agency.
Once you have applied to a list of your ideal jobs the next step is to wait. The agencies and companies will get back to you. This is one of the most agonising parts of the process. The things that occur are out of your control. So you just have to do your best to be patient. To make it more fun go out and buy yourself some new work clothes.
The interview is one of the most exciting and at the same time most nerve racking experiences in the recruitment process. You will dress up in your finest clothing, prepare the best sound bites about yourself that you can imagine and then be prepared to face a barrage of accusing questions from your potential employer. To make it more fun imagine the interview panel naked - it’s a classic but might help settle your nerves.
The best case scenario is that you will be accepted for the job. This is where it gets really exciting. You will most likely have to negotiate for your salary. By this point you will have set your heart on this job and the last thing you want is to overvalue yourself and find that the company choose someone cheaper. But do not talk yourself down - if you don’t ask - you don’t get. So do not be intimidated - pitch high! To make it more fun imagine you are a multi millionaire dragon and that you’re tough and were born to negotiate!
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